Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

I wear my heart on my sleeve...I'm such a sucker for love! And it's funny cuz I've been burned so many times before, yet I still come back for more. Resilient much? More like stubborn! Or I just have way too much hope in fate and destiny and the idea that someone is truly out there for me, but it's just a matter of time and heartache and all the in betweens that come before finally meeting the right one. I've had my fair share of broken hearts (given and received), enough to last me a lifetime. It's amazing how I can still manage to offer my heart over and over again after all the repairs it's been through, but each time I'm starting to feel like maybe a part of me becomes a little more selfish? I'm not sure if this is a good thing..good for me cuz I've got myself covered, but bad for you if you're aiming to win me over. It's not like you haven't heard this all before--girl gets hurt, girl puts guard up, girl refuses to fall so easily, etc. I mean, it's not like I've totally written off love; just reread the first line of this post, will ya! I'm just more cautious now, but at a cost of course, because one cannot fully experience all of me just yet. It's gonna take a lot more than sweet talk and giving me butterflies for me to hand over my most prized possession! (I assure you the extra effort will be well spent, though)

But, if anything, I think out of all the things in the world, I'm probably the most optimistic about this aspect of life, even with all that I've gone through. Love has the power to bring things together, it strengthens and connects--it's everything--it's the underlying knot to how we live..why we live..and why I choose to love over and over again, without expectation and still with the knowledge that things may not always work in my favor.

So when people ask why I'm able to not care about certain things--the past (especially), who someone was in the past, who I was in the past--it's not that I don't care or mind it, (of course I care and of course it matters to an extent!) but I think I've slowly learned to just let it go. Who someone was in the past might not be who they are now and who they will be tomorrow. I know I'm not that person I was 5 years ago and I would hate to have someone else hold that against me. I've come to the conclusion that all I can do now is put in what I can give, and expect nothing in return--the rest will be up to fate or you. If someone decides to do me wrong or inflict more pain, oh well! What's the worst that can happen? It's already been done. I believe I've gone through hell and back again that I can take on whatever hurt could potentially come my way.

It's so cliche (here I go again) but live for today. Have you truly lived in the now? Don't preoccupy yourself with your past, her past, his past or our tomorrow, our future. The past is done and over with, you can't do anything about it now; and tomorrow will come in due time.
The important thing is to focus on what love can bring and not what it can take away. Obviously it has eaten at my heart numerous times, slowly eroding what was once whole. But the beauty of it all is that love, yet again, can pull through. It has the power to erase the hurt (or blind us? ;P) and give us the ability to come back for more, each time hungrier than ever--because each time we know that we are one step closer to finding what we are ultimately looking for.

So, happy seeking everybody! I wish you all the best in finding what you are looking for, and if you don't know what that is just yet, enjoy the journey while you're at it :)

p.s. What do you think of the design up there? In 2 days I'll have that permanently etched on me. So much for wearing my heart on my sleeve, literally!